


He Looked At Her Like She Was The Sun

by emperoxgrayland



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ben Solo is a Mess, Childhood Friends, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Groveling, HEA, I Need A Palate Cleanser From This One Fic, Pilot Ben Solo, Reunited and It Feels So Good
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:35:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22634425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emperoxgrayland/pseuds/emperoxgrayland
Summary: "He looked at her like she was the sun in that he never looked at her except in frustration. He basked in her warmth, he complained when she was gone, but he never looked. He never looked at her until she was leaving and in the beauty of the sunset, he wonders how he'd never seen her before."Rey Palpatine was given to Luke Skywalker from her birth for her protection. Her birthright hidden from her, she is raised as Rey Sabe, a handmaid's daughter, hidden away with the Resistance, away from Palpatine's grasp..Ben Solo had remembered a red faced squalling baby that seemed to favor him. He remembered a child he was fond of, and a child he swore to protect. A child he swore to return to.Ten years later and Rey is a Resistance spy, and Ben is finally returning home. He sees her, in the same buns, the same freckles, the same eyes. He welcomes the warmth. What he doesn't welcome is the sudden widening of the Force in his mind."Don't worry, I feel it too.""Get out of my head."
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Rose Tico, Kylo Ren/Rey, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Lorian Palpatine/Kira Sabe, Poe Dameron/Paige Tico, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 11
Kudos: 63





	1. Prologue: Nineteen Years Later

She came to him in a bundle, squalling, pink faced, and not particularly beautiful. 

Her mother was tired, sitting on a rocking chair as his own mother tried to take the bundle from her, to let her get some rest. 

His uncle and his father were with her father. The son of Darth Sidious - who was more light than light can be. 

She has not stop crying, her mother Kira said, tapping the baby's back as Leia rocked her from side to side. It's as if she's missing something, she only sleeps, for a while, but in her waking hours, she cries.

She was born the same day he was. He had his birthday about a week ago. She was so tiny in her blanket. And he just wanted to peer, at what made her cry so much, curious to see a child. 

His mother saw him hunching, already too tall for his age, and she sits, motions him to come. 

And he peers over his mother's arms, and there she was, tiny, squalling, so red in the face, her fists clenched against her sides. 

He smiles, he had never seen a youngling before. He reaches out a finger to stroke over the tiny fist. 

The minute he touched her skin, he was zinged, a knowing, a gentle lull from the Force. 

She blinks her eyes open, the wailing still there, but she looks at him as if blaming him for not being here a week ago. 

"May I..."

"Oh Ben, she's so tiny..."

But Kira, was already looking at him, she was a scholar, who was the daughter of Padme Amidala's handmaiden, a woman of Naboo herself. She knew about the Force. The tides of it, the pulls of it. 

She takes her daughter from Leia's arms, and kneels in front of Ben. 

"Hold your arms out, you must hold her head, gentle, gentle..."

The wailing intensified, and for a second he thought it was a mistake, but the minute she was settled against his heart, his arms around her, the wailing stops, all of a sudden, a torential rain one second, and quiet the next. She blinks at him, once, twice, his arms stiff around her, afraid to move, to jostle to wake, and she closes her eyes, and settles to sleep. 

His mother looks at him, wide eyed and uncertain, but the Lady Kira simply kisses his cheek. 

"There now, young Ben, it's you she has been waiting for."

"What's her name?" His voice comes out hoarse, in a croak, still afraid to disturb her. 

"Rey. Her name is Rey." "Rey." He whispers the word, and she snuggles closer against him, and he smiles. 

\---

She stays with them, with her parents. Safer with Master Skywalker, safer with his mother the Senator, her true lineage hidden. They become nobodies. For her, working for the Senate, for Naboo and New Alderaan. She loves him the most.

She still cries fearsomely, and he couldn't take the sound of her heartbreak so much he finally asked if it would be alright, if she slept with him, in his room. 

"Ben, she's a baby. She needs her mama, for her feedings...and you need to sleep."

So he spends breakfast with her, before he goes to school, before he is lectured on politics, and finance and economics. 

He likes flying the most, with his father. He learns how to fly the Falcon. One day, his father says, you will make the Kessel Run in 10 parsects, and beat your old man. He wears his jacket, and Chewie lifts him up high in the air. 

"And Rey will be my co-pilot?"

His father laughs, ruffling his hair.

"Good luck trying to tame that little girl Ben."

\---

Her first word was Ben. Much to her father's annoyance.

"Say Papa, darling. Pa-pa."

"BEN!"

She is squirming, refusing the mashed jogan her father was trying to feed her, reaching out for him as he appeared in the kitchen door. 

"BEN!" Her father rolls his eyes but grins and motions Ben over.

"There you are, her prince. Papa becomes an afterthought with Ben here."

They mean nothing of it. A joke they say, but the words ring true.

Rey smiles, a bright gummy smile as Ben takes the bowl and takes it to her. 

She coos and chatters, as if Ben would understand her.

In a way he does. 

When he gets up to leave, pressing a kiss to her head, she tears up again. 

"Ben." She can't say stay yet, but the way her tiny hand clutched at his finger he got what she meant.

"I have to go sweetheart."

"Ben."

Her lower lip trembles, and he smiles kissing her head again, extracting his fingers and making for the door, where his father waited. 

"Ben! Ben! BEN!"

Suddenly the kitchen explodes, plates shatter in the cabinets, and cans spurt out their contents, the tiny wash area leaks water everywhere, and through it all she cries, and whines, "Ben!"

He rushes back to her, picking her up, checking her for injury, but she merely burrows her tiny face in his neck, letting out a pathetic whimper. Lorien's eyes meets Han's and grim expressions cross their faces. 

\---

He was twelve when his uncle asks if he wants to join the temple. Train as a Jedi. 

Rey toddles after him, on still unstable legs.

"Ben up!" He lifts her up, and she presses a kiss to his cheek, then smiles her smile before resting her head on his shoulder.

"I... I don't want to leave home."

His uncle looks old, and weary. 

"I won't want you to, Ben. You may train in the mornings, and return home here, if that is what you wish."

"I... but flying..." His uncle smiles and ruffles his hair. 

"Of course, you can choose, whichever one you want."

"Is there a way to be both?"

"You can learn to fly, definitely, but the path of the Jedi... it is a way of life, not an occupation, not just."

Luke stands, older and wearier than he seemed. 

"There were ways that were wrong, I know that now. The Order as it is... will fall. Darkness rises, yes. But light must meet it. The old Jedi asked for too much sacrifice. Only one path, with no other. That is not what I want. That is not what it should be. The Force is all around us, not just for the Jedi to use. You must decide your own path, young Ben."

So he chooses both. 

\---

He was fifteen when he first hears the voice in his head. 

As his power grew, so did the call, to the dark side. Knowledge of his grandfather was a poisoned dart to his heart. 

"Ben?"

She was in her pajamas, and so tiny, so afraid. 

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Can I stay here with you?"

"Sure, sweetheart."

He lifts his blankets, and he crawls in with him, her ear to his chest, listening to his heart. 

"Don't listen to him Ben." 

She knew, of course she did. 

"Rey, I-"

"We must tell Uncle Luke."

"He won't-"

"He will. I will make him."

She was old for her age. Wise beyond her years. 

"I won't let him take you Ben."

She was a tiny thing, a slip of a girl, he doesn't understand why he feels safe with her here.

\---

"He uses a man named Snoke. But it's him. I know it, I feel it. He wants Rey. And Ben."

Lorien looks like he has not slept in weeks, his wife clutching his hands in hers. 

"Why does he want the children?"

"You know why Skywalker."

Luke sighs, and clutches at a necklace he wears around his neck. 

"The same reason he wanted Mara and I."

"Darkness rises, and light to meet it. The son of Vader. The daughter of Sidious. It's what he always wanted. Only now he has a daughter by blood, and not just by training."

Kira whispers. 

Luke's face grows weary and he looks at Ben. 

"I will not let Mara's sacrifice be in vain. We will face him. Sidious, Snoke, whatever he is now. We will face him. We will keep the children safe."

\---

She cries, held in Ben's arms as she looks at her parents board the ship. 

"We will return for you, darling. It is the only way."

"Don't go, mama, papa."

She reaches for them and her parents hold her close.

"Ben will keep you safe. You will be safe my darling. We must hide. He cannot know where you are. You will be safe here."

Kira hands her back to Ben, and she cups his cheek.

"You must care for her while we cannot."

Ben only nods, not fully comprehending what was happening. But Rey cries and burrows into him. He holds her closer.

\---

He wakes to fire, and smoke. Rey is curled still against him, and he shakes her awake, as the smoke chokes his lungs. He lifts her, and she stays still, and quiet against him, and he gets his lightsaber, igniting it to light their way. 

"BEN!"

"DAD!"

Han shows, a mask on his face, Chewie behind him. 

"They found us, we have to go."

"The temple- Uncle Luke-"

"Your uncle is gone, come away now, we have to go."

Han tries to get Rey from Ben but she clings to him and Han only nods before leading them out, to the Falcon, where his mother was boarding the other passengers. He turns to see the temple burning. 

"No-"

"Ben, there's nothing you can do."

"The padawans-"

"Ben..."

His mother meets his eyes then pulls him and Rey close, and he feels anger rise, choke him, darkness calling, but Rey's arms tightens around him, silent tears falling from her eyes. 

"Stay with me, Ben."

The darkness recedes, washed in light, and balanced.

\---

"Where did Luke-"

"We don't know?"

"What's the First Order?"

"We don't know."

"What's going to happen to us?"

Leia sighs and Amilyn Holdo takes her hand.

"We resist. As we always have."

Rey tightens her hold on Ben's legs. She shouldn't be here they said. She was just a child. But she wouldn't let go of Ben. And she shattered one of the panels on the ship. 

"And Lorian what of Lorian Pal-"

Leia sends a look to Han.

"Rey will stay here, with us. Safe."

Han sighs and turns away.

\---

"You can't leave our son vulnerable-"

"They cannot be separated!"

"She calls him on!"

"She is a girl of six!"

"And he's my son, Leia! He's my son, and I almost let him go with Luke! What would he have- if I listened to you, if I gave him to Luke I can't even... I'm taking Ben with me. We're leaving."

"Han-"

"He's our son. Skywalker, Organa, fuck it all. Your balance, your brother's mission. Palpatine's vision. Fuck it all. He's my son, and I will not leave him to fall to the dark side!"

"She will be unbalanced, without him."

He steps in the room. Having heard enough.

"Then we suppress it."

"Ben-"

"You're trying to protect me Dad, and I... I felt him. Snoke. Whispering... and Uncle Luke, I've seen him, sometimes when I train... I- I know, about Vader. About being my grandfather."

"Oh Ben-"

Leia wraps him in a hug and she sighs against him.

"I don't want this mom."

"Okay. I'll show you."

She did it once, when she saw, at the end of her Jedi journey, the death of her son. She had thought it inevitable, the future she has seen, which was why she was ready to let him go to Luke, for the greater good. 

But Rey came, and she quieted the darkness rising in him, balanced him out. And now... Now he must lock it away. As she has. 

\---

"Take me with you!"

She was seven, and Ben was leaving. 

He taught her how to hide her Force. To build a castle with thick walls and a gate she must never open, not to anyone. 

The walls around the resistance base shakes and Ben kneels before her and hugs her close. 

"Rey, you must learn to control yourself. I will be back. This is... something I have to do."

"I can help you, I can learn to be a pilot. Uncle Han... you can teach me."

Han shifts in his feet before laying a hand on Rey's head.

"Kid, you should stay here, with Aunt Leia. Learn how to control the Force... and then maybe you can come with me and Ben.

\---

He returns half a year later, taller, broader, tanned, with his hair longer than it had been.

The Ben who left was a boy. 

This was a man.

He grinned at her, ruffled her hair, gave her a stuffed Wookie from Kashykk, a gift from him and Chewie. 

She blushes because he looked different from her Ben.

And yet when she hugged him, it was the same.

Home.

Safe. 

There were new kids on the plot. Resistance pilots, scientists... people Ben's age. 

"Is it true your dad did the Kessel Run in 14 parsects?"

"Twelve." Ben and Rey chirp together and Poe Dameron grins. 

"I didn't know you and the kid were close."

"Yeah. I babysat Rey a lot. She's like... family." He ruffles her hair, and she grins at him.

The young man who lets her stay with him to run from her nightmares. She loves him, she knows. And she marks her wall for each day he is gone.

\---

"How long will you be gone?"

She's 9 now. 

And things haven't been the same. 

Ben's friends with Poe Dameron and Kaydel Connix and he goes on missions for the Resistance with Han and Chewie. 

He hasn't hung around her much only returning every half a standard year. 

When he does he's off with Poe talking tactics, and refusing Poe's offer to be Red 1.

"It was your uncle's place-"

Ben claps him on the shoulder. 

"It's yours now. Poe."

"How long will you be gone?" She repeats the question and he sighs, approaching her.

"I don't know sweetheart." He kneels before her and takes her hand in his.

"I will be back for you, I promise."

"But how long..."

"It will be a while."

"Don't leave me." She grips his hands. "Please."

He was home and safety, and she counts the days that he is gone, scratch marks on her walls.

She felt so alone without him.

Unbalanced.

"I will come back for you."

Then he breaks away from her and joins his father's ship.

He looks back to her, his hair blowing in the breeze, eyes locked on hers and then he smiles and waves.

He'll come back she repeats as she still waves long after he is gone. He'll come back she repeats long after Leia has tucked her beside her, sobbing and crying. He won't leave me. She repeats as she falls into a fitful sleep.

She doesn't see him for the next decade. 


	2. As The Years Go By

**100 Days**

"Ben!"

"Hey, sweetheart."

She ran to his holo as he reported to his mother about his mission. 

"Rey, why don't you go with Poe for a while, Ben needs to finish his report."

"But-"

"I'll talk to you more after okay Rey?"

"I miss you."

She huffs out and he nods. "Me too, sweetheart."

He was gone when she came back. 

\---

**365 Days**

"Are you coming home now?"

He looked tired, thinner, Chewie moved behind him. 

"You guys okay? I heard the Falcon was stolen. How's the new ship?"

Chewie grunted at him again and he turns to respond to him in hushed whispers she couldn't understand. 

"I can't Rey, I... sorry, I have to go."

\---

**585 Days**

"Happy birthday Ben!"

He grins at her, he's less tired now, some meat on his bones, rest in his eyes. 

"Happy birthday Rey."

"Will you come? For the party, will you come?"

"Not this time kid. We have to..."

His connection winks out, and she tries hard not to cry. 

\---

**1,000 Days**

"It's been a thousand days since you were gone."

He blinks as she murmurs it, as she struggles to keep awake in Leia's office to talk to him. 

"Rey..."

"I keep counting, I don't know why. It makes me feel you'll come home."

"Go to sleep sweetheart."

"Please come home Ben."

\---

**1,875 Days**

"You didn't come see me."

Ben huffs, peeling off his soiled bandage and applying a bacta patch. 

"It was a supply run and we needed to drop the cargo, and leave. I tried finding you, but Poe said you were in flight practice."

"Oh fuck flight practice. I haven't seen you in 5 years! I fly this shitty plane everyday, you think I won't have come to you?"

The blue image flickers and he looks up at her and sighs. "Rey-"

"Whatever. It doesn't matter."

For the first time she clicks off the holo on her own. 

\---

**2,000 Days**

"You're not getting on an X-wing. It's too dangerous!"

"Poe says I'm the best pilot on the resistance."

"Poe's an idiot."

"Well he's actually seen me fly. Because he goes back to base."

"Rey-"

"2,000 days today. When are you coming home?"

He closes his eyes and tears burn at her eyelids. 

"You know what Ben? I don't care." 

She throws herself to bed and cries herself to sleep. 

\---

**2,001 Days**

"I think you should just give her space. She'll come around."

"Mom-"

"She misses you."

"Yeah but I can't-"

"It's been years, Ben. Don't you think-"

"Don't start mom."

"Your uncle can help-"

"Bye mom."

She huffs and expects his image to flicker off but he sighs. 

"Tell her I love her?"

Then he clicks off. 

\---

**2,685 Days**

He sees her hovering from the side of his mother's door.

"Rey."

She walks in and takes him in, the broken ribs, the bacta on his arm. 

"You're alive."

"Yeah."

"Okay."

Then she bursts into tears, sinking on her knees, and he panics, calls her name, for his mother. 

Leia finds her there and scoops her up into her arms. 

"Please. Please make him come home. Please."

\---

**3,000 Days**

"Rey, what are you doing?"

"Is this what he's looking for?"

"Rey-"

"You sent him away, to find Luke?"

"He wanted to go. He needs his answers."

"Then I'm helping."

"Rey, no-"

"I'm bringing him home, if you won't do it."

Leia makes a frantic call to Ben. "Ma? It's the middle of the night on the ship."

"Get your father, Rey's coming after you."

\---

**3,010 Days**

"I hate you."

"Sweetheart, Poe did the right thing."

"I can help you find him."

"Rey... this is not for you to... it's _dangerous_."

"Is he still after you?"

"Rey-"

"Do you still... hear him?"

"I won't let him get to you."

"Answer the question Ben."

"I won't let him get to you."

Then his connection winks out. 

\---

**3,645 Days**

"What do you mean she's in _Jakku_?"

He hissed at his mother and Leia hunches forward. 

"She intercepted your message, about Lor San Tekka. She boarded her X-Wing and followed Poe out."

"Damn it, mom."

\---

**3,650 Days**

A hand wraps around her wrist, and she turns to scold Finn again. Though she's sure he's not part of the resistance. 

She still didn't know what happened to Poe, but she had to get the droid to base. And interrogate this... _Finn_. 

"Stop taking my-"

"Hey, sweetheart."

Her heart slips up to her throat.

Before she knows it her fingers clench, tighten on his. 

He was taller. So much taller than she remembered him. And broader. 

He was so massive she wonders how he fit into the vest and the old smuggler shirt. 

His hair was long now, so long, it covered his ears. She kind of missed it, the goofy ears on the boy she loved the most. 

But she likes this too... all flowy and long and... princely. 

_Papa becomes garbage when the Prince of Alderaan walks_ in.

She shakes the voice, and her fingers tremble, and her lips form his name.

"Ben."

He kneels in front of her, hands shakily touching her cheek. 

"The girl I heard so much about."

She grins, and his smile winks from his lips and she's jumping into his arms, because Ben is here, and he's home, and... he left her for ten years. 

Drawing back a storm takes over her face and she punches him straight to the nose. 

**Author's Note:**

> I read this fic where Rey is taken hostage for a year and I feel so disgusted and just horrified like why do we do this for fiction, so this is tropey romcom shennanigans with the Force and it will feel like rainbows pooped on a unicorn damn it!


End file.
